Why do I have to slow down when time is running out

Slowing down. It’s not the pace of life that I’d prefer to live. But last year, especially, you God have shown me that I have to slow down for my own health and sanity. I’d much prefer to go faster. My mind runs fast. I think you’ve given me that. But my emotions, my feelings, my body, the other parts of me can’t keep up with my mindful of ideas.

I suppose it’s like wanting to run a marathon; hypothetically, because I absolutely don’t want that. I could think that I want to run a long distance, but if my body can’t take it, because I’m out of breath and my muscles tighten up in cramps by mile 2, then I’m forced to stop. My muscles won’t let me. Game over. Yes, I know what that feels like, because the last time I tried to run one of those 10K’s, at the urging of a friend, my legs cramped up half way, and I could barely walk the second half to get to the finish line.

Now that I’m going slower

Thank God for the experiences of learning to live in a more healthy manner overall during the past year. I can sense that contrast of pausing in a moment of life and relax. I am not plagued with questions about what I should do now or what I should do next.

Looking back with perspective, I’ve noticed that my previous pace of life was frenetic frenzy. It was an intentional blur. There’s so much to do. I don’t want to stop. I didn’t know how to stop. I kept going and going until I wore out. It kept my mind and thoughts occupied. There was no room to get in touch with the heartbeat of what was behind the feelings and emotions. Some people call it heart and soul. It could also be called being okay being alone with God.

I heard it said recently, that when you want to notice more in life, go slower. When you’re going across the country in a car, on a road trip, you’re going to see a lot more than if you took a train or flew in an airplane. If you go cross country in a bike, you’ll see more than driving in a car. If you go cross country by walking, you’ll see more than riding a bike; though I don’t know how long that would take. Not something I’m ever thinking of doing.

Yeah, it’s different being here. I can say that it’s okay to do nothing. Relax.

How Time Goes by so Fast and so Slow

I’m over 50 years old now. I’m seeing more people retiring and dying. In those passing conversations of small talk, we talk about our respective families and how quick our children grew up. Wow, how time flies. Oh, how fast time went by.

And then, experientially here, when I’m sitting here, calmly and collecting my thoughts to type out, in a thoughtful moment of prayer, time is going by slowly, second by second, moment by moment.

 

On the one hand, my countdown clock is ticking. My days are limited and time is running out. On the other, time goes no faster than one second at a time, one minute, one hour, one day, one week, one month, one year.

“With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.” Peter wrote that. Yes, God, you’re outside of time. But you know what, even for me, being inside of time, looking back into the past, that’s a blink of an eye. Time right now is just the right pace, if I let it be, and I can be more mindful of that. And then the future, that can seem far away, but it’s just around the corner. The next day is coming, again. What a mind warp.

Now time’s up. Off to my next event for the day. Thanks for today’s pause to type and pray.

 

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